The 2020 Olympics vs. Your H.O.A. Summer Barbecue

Olympics: Fires Director of Opening Ceremonies for cracking jokes about the Holocaust.

HOA Barbecue: Opening ceremony director, Mrs. Appleton, fired for calling next door neighbor’s toddler a ‘loin trophy.’

Olympics: No alcohol served in Olympic Village

HOA Barbecue: Not enough alcohol to get through the Stevens family’s rendition of “Dancing Queen” during karaoke contest.

Olympics: Typhoon

HOA Barbecue: Toddler meltdowns

Olympics: Athletes experience heat exhaustion due to temperature and humidity

HOA Barbecue: Athletes’ Foot experienced from heat and humidity in women’s pool restroom

Olympics: Athletes set Tinder location to Olympic Village

HOA Barbecue: Teenagers set Tinder location to small, grassy area in back of maintenance shed.

Olympics: Concerns about food being prepared with radioactive ingredients from Fukushima.

HOA Barbecue: Concerns about nuclear diarrhea caused by Mrs. Franklin’s potato salad.

Olympics: Tokyo Bay contaminated with E.coli

HOA Barbecue: HOA pool contaminated when Duke “Little Dookie” Beeman drops a deuce in the pool.

Olympics: No ‘sleepovers’ in Olympic Village due to cardboard beds

HOA Barbecue: No sleepovers in Community Room due to head lice infestation.

Olympics: Does not allow doping of any kind.

HOA Barbecue: Considers Skittles, M&Ms, Sour Patch Kids, Starbursts, Nerds and anything with high fructose corn syrup to be doping.

Olympics: Bribes accepted only through third party relatives of IOC.

HOA Barbecue: Bribes for code infractions accepted under potted azalea on front porch of Unit #302-B

Olympics: Closing ceremonies feature fireworks.

HOA Barbecue: Closing ceremonies feature cherry bomb explosion in men’s pool toilet. Increased HOA assessment to follow.