Nancy Franklin's MirthquakesThis website is about life's absurdities
Entertainment will be provided by your doctor performing his amazing impression of David Attenborough spelunking in your ‘lady cave.’ You are cordially invited to attend your annual gynecological exam next Tuesday at 10:00AM. Embarrassment, awkwardness, and…
“Don’t overthink it,” we’re always told. To which I say, “Why not?” Would we have had the key to relativity if Einstein hadn’t overthought it? Would the light bulb have gone off about electricity if Thomas…
I give you great respect, Sensei, when you tell me that my Caesarean section scar will not burst open as I hold this position. I signed up for karate classes because I figured a little ‘wax…
My husband and I have decided that we are going to spend the rest of our lives walking around the house saying “What?!” to each other until one of us dies. We don’t have a big…
People should be speaking up at half the weddings they attend. And by half, I mean 44% of weddings. That’s the divorce rate in the U.S. “If any man can show just cause why they may…
I’m going to maneuver your breast on this cold, iron plate like I’m kneading the shit out of sourdough bread. Welcome to C.U. Radiology. I will be your mammographer today and in charge of all the…
When our mother was wearing her signature perfume, all was right in the world. I couldn’t tell you it is a blend of subtle spice, jasmine and rose; woody and floral; with a citrusy top, floral…
‘Cor, that tea! I should have gone to the loo before the game!’ ‘Ere we go. Right out of the tunnel, mate. Don’t wave to the people, follow the line. Assume the position. Arms behind me…
When the wind was from the east, the man could smell General Tso’s kung pao chicken. In the mid-summer of this year the man lived in a house near the ocean. He could not see the…
Really?! According to PEOPLE Magazine, Kim Kardashian, in an interview with the New York Times said, “If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I…
