And in an Instant, I Became a Grandmother

But I wouldn’t change anything.

My son had leaned over to me at Thanksgiving dinner and whispered, “She has a 3-month-old daughter.” He was referring to the woman he had met a few weeks earlier who would, eight months later, become his wife.  Of course he would tell me, first; I am the more liberal of his parents and less likely to be disapproving. And, I suppose, he was hoping I’d help soften the response from his father. He was wrong.

 “Couldn’t you find someone who doesn’t come with a built-in set of problems?” I sighed, giving him that exasperated look all moms cultivate with their children when they think their child is making a mistake.

“The baby’s real cute,” he replied.

My husband wasn’t happy. But we kept our thoughts to ourselves, thinking the relationship would fizzle out, in time, like so many twenty-something relationships do. So we let cooler heads prevail.

He introduced us to his girlfriend and her baby after the new year. We watched as the two played with the fuzzy-headed infant on the floor of our family room. The baby smiled and babbled while rolling from one adult to the other. It was astonishing to watch our son, who, for most of his life, had been a goofball who I wouldn’t have trusted to care for a pet rock; He was now changing diapers, making bottles and lying on his stomach playing peek-a-boo with a wriggling baby human. Soon, my husband was on the floor, too, both of my ‘boys’ vying for the attention of a bewildered little girl.

There’s a thing about babies—so helpless and dependent—trusting everyone they meet to care for them and keep them safe. It’s an innocence that’s pure and unconditional. You see curiosity, hope and discovery in their eyes and you want to be there for every part of it.

Over the next several months, that little girl began to spend more and more time with us. Whenever we got the chance, we took her for walks, to the beach, to the park. She built a nest in our hearts; warm and irreplaceable.

Our son and his girlfriend were married that August. It was a whirlwind affair, put together in less than a month. Things are always done in a hurry when you’re in the military. You live life in the moment, present and accounted for, because you have dedicated yourself to your country’s service, wherever and however that might be. That day, when he said “I do,” he dedicated himself to a family, as well; His family.

And just like that, my husband and I became grandparents.

Two years later, we stood  in a courtroom in San Diego, as our son formally adopted this little girl. She is a part of our family, now, and nothing can change that.  But she was a part of our family long before the adoption because, after all, she already had our hearts.